There are lots of things Mama never taught me about living a fulfilling life.
Instead, Mama taught me that without a man I would end up destitute.
Mama taught me that, like her, I didn’t have what it took to create a viable life on my own.
Mama taught me that hope is a strategy, and that success is measured by one’s ability to suck it up.
Mama taught me how to ignore my instincts and my own needs in order to steady a rocking boat.
Mama taught me to turn myself inside out to please someone else.
But I learned that getting married is not the foolproof plan to getting what we want. I learned that if we don’t have dreams of our own, we end up living someone else’s.
I learned that when we deny the truth of who we are, we end up screwed.
I learned that eventually our authentic self comes back, so we might as well reveal it right up front.
I learned that we can’t skip the hard stuff—developing inner knowledge, independence, facing the challenges of life for a personal dream, encountering pain—we can only put it off.
And I learned a whole lot more: from books, from adventures and misadventures, from a bunch of gruesome mistakes. I explore these lessons in my blog, Things Mama Never Taught Me.
And that’s what the interview series Starting Over is all about. It’s about redemption. It’s about remembering who we are separate from the role of wife, mother, and caretaker, and in the process, finding our true selves. It’s about learning how to respect and value ourselves. It’s about allowing our own souls to sing. It’s about speaking with our own authentic voice.
This is our time. Join us as we explore the way to becoming whole.
FOR WHOM IT MAY CONCERN
This site is for anyone who woke up this morning wondering what comes next. For those who secretly fear that without a lover, or a spouse, or dependent children, they have no function, identity, or worth. For those with the sneaking suspicion that it should, and it can be different.
WHO I AM. REALLY
It is said that we teach what we need to learn. For me, this is true.
It is also said that life is a series of decisions, one after another. When put together, they make us who we are.
Once upon a time I was an aimless girl who twisted herself into a little pretzel to win over a man. He was a decent man, with his own complexes and flaws, who led me down the primrose path into the Islamic Republic of Iran. This did not go well.
Five years later, and a whole lot smarter, I returned to the United States with two young children to start life over. My memoir of this time, The Lost Girl’s Guide to Iran, is nearing completion.
Figuring out who I was was tough.
I found the outline of myself when I began running. And writing. I went back to school. I bought my own place. I developed self-esteem the old fashioned way: I earned it. Every year I try something daring, because fear of the unknown is how great things start.
Along the way, I have met some incredible women. Women with their own stories. Women who’ve walked through fire and reinvented themselves. That’s how the idea for Starting Over was born.
It is my sincerest hope that what I have learned may inspire you.
CONNECT WITH ME
I look forward to our journey together. Please feel free to contact me at any time if you have comments or questions. If you haven’t done so already, you may like to subscribe to Things Mama Never Taught Me and Starting Over.
Go ahead, share my stuff. Please. Post it on your site, on your facebook page, in your twitter stream, even in your bestselling book. Just credit yours truly. Spread the love.
Wishing you an Audacious Life,